We all want to be around friendly, kind, positive people who make us feel better and simply help us enjoy life. These people bring out the best in you and spending time with them is doing you good, makes you feel happy and positive as well. Negative people, on the other hand, spread their negativity to everyone around them, making them feel bad as well and crushing their positive energy in a single blow. But as much as we want to surround ourselves with just positive people, sometimes we don’t even notice that some of our closest friends have a toxic effect on us.
Why would you be friends with toxic people? Well, because maybe when you first started hanging out they weren’t as negative as they are now, and you’ve grown fond of them and it’s hard for you to believe that they’re actually no good for you anymore. This type of people will poison you with their negativity, with their indifference and with their sarcasm, stripping you from the joy of life you used to have.
But how can you identify these toxic people around you? We have to confess, it’s not an easy task, but it’s a skill that you need to learn if you want to protect yourself from these people and ban them from your life.
Here are the 6 main signs that you are surrounded with negative, toxic people who make you feel negative as well:
They never respect the plans you’ve made and often leave you hanging
It’s happened to everyone, we’ve arranged a night out with friends, but life got in the way and we had to cancel our plans. It’s normal to skip a night out every once in a while because you had other urgent matters to attend to, but toxic people do this on purpose. They make plans and cancel at the last moment, leaving you hanging, just because they had something better to do. Look out for these ‘friends’ who always cancel on you at the last minute, as they’re not your true friends, they only pretend. A good friend will respect your time and will never cancel just because something better came along the way.
They talk bad about you behind your back
A true friend will never, ever talk about you behind your back, especially not bad, hurtful things. When we’re friends with someone we only have positive things to say about them, especially to other people, but toxic friends will badmouth you and make fun of you when you’re not around just to score points with the company they’re in. If you confront them about it, they may even try to say they were joking or that someone else is making things up, but you should know better. Never be friends with people who gossip, especially behind someone’s back.
They never keep your secrets
Confiding with a friend is something we all do, it helps us cope with our problems and we genuinely trust them and feel they will never share our secrets with anyone. Toxic friends will never keep your secrets, eventually you’ll find out that people already know some secret you shared with them in confidence and they will hurt you deeply. All they care about is having an interesting topic to discuss, even if it’s their friend’s secrets.
They make fun of you
We all joke around with our friends and make fun at each other’s expense. But when you’re with a toxic person, the jokes are never at their expense, all they do is make fun of you and never accept making jokes at their own expense. Moreover, the jokes are a bit too mean to be coming from a friend, right? This is an instant red flag and you should immediately distance yourself from friends like these.
They always make you feel used
True friendship is about helping each other in times of need, but when your friends with a toxic person, you do all the helping. This makes you feel used without even knowing why. How many times have you spent all your money on a day out with a friend, only to realize that they haven’t even said thanks? You hope they will reciprocate next time? Think again and don’t let yourself be used by these undeserving people.
You can never count on them
You’re always there for them, but when you need them they’re nowhere to be found? If this is the case, than you’re definitely friends with a toxic person you really don’t need in your life. If you can’t count on them, then what kind of friend are they? It’s easy to be friends with someone when things are great, but a real friend is there for you in a time of need as well. You probably already know this and they’re never the first friend you think of when you need some help. You’ve noticed this pattern of behavior, all you need to do is stop helping them and cut them out of your life entirely.