Fighting is inevitable in a relationship – if anyone says everything’s perfect in their relationship, they’re lying. Fights can be triggered by minor or major inconveniences, but they will inevitably occur. Some couples can resolve them through a talk, while others need a therapist to solve their problems.
No matter how much you want it, there’s no way of eradicating conflicts. However, there are many ways you can try to fix your relationship problems without getting professional help. In fact, good therapists say that there are 7 things that make the difference between healthy and harmful fights. Knowing these 7 things will help you tackle the problem better and eventually resolve the thing that was threatening your relationship.
Take a Pause
Before your rush into an argument and vent your emotions, take a step back, breathe and try not to yell. Arguing can rob you of energy and time, not to mention it will destroy your mind. Plus, we tend to say stuff we don’t really mean when in a heated argument, so before opening your mouth or showing an attitude that can destroy your relationship, take a pause first.
Couples shouldn’t always act how they feel. Rolling your eyes over and over in an argument will give a negative impression and may be hurtful to your partner, even if he knows you don’t mean it. Avoid hurtful cues when fighting with your partner – if you’re in love with them, act accordingly.
Bringing Up the Past
Couples often have a tendency to bring up the past when fighting which can create serious problems. Dragging the past between each other is an ugly way to fight. Holding onto the past will lead to resentment and cause problems which will be hard to bounce back from. If you want to fight productively, you should avoid talking about the past. Over time, the resentment will lead to misery and the relationship will break, and you don’t want that, right?
Learn When to Stop
Not knowing when to stop is another problem that indicates a toxic couple. When we fight with our partner, we get incredible passionate which can turn a simple argument into an ugly fight. Learn when to say that’s enough or you’re risking turning everything into a mess.
Don’t Start With An Attack
When you’re fighting with your partner, don’t start with a shouting attack. Your fight will be much more productive if you start it softly. Just talk to your partner and tell them how you feel instead of getting into a shouting match. In this way, you’ll be able to resolve the problem and fix your relationship as well.
“We never fight!”
As we already said, those who say they don’t fight with their partner are bad liars. As a matter of fact, therapists are more concerned about couples that prefer staying silent instead of facing their problems head on. Avoiding fights will lead to an accumulation of negative feelings which can ruin your relationship quickly. Instead of staying silent, stay calm and try resolving the problem in a calm manner. If nothing works, then you’ll need to see a therapist.
Productive Fights Can Get Repaired
Therapists say that productive fights can repair a relationship. When the issues aren’t swept under a proverbial rug and they’re brought into the daylight instead, they get easier to solve. Stick to the aforementioned tips and you’ll be able to fix any problem that is threatening to ruin your relationship.