Cheating is absolutely the worst thing you can experience in a relationship. The rage and pain that follows accompanied by other negative emotions can lead you down a dwindling road of sadness and ruin your chances of ever having a healthy relationship again. According to a recent survey, about 64% of people have been cheated on, which is a pretty high percentage. Of course, the study was done on a small scale, but we’re sure the results will be replicated on a larger scale.
With that being said, do you know why people cheat in the first place? Depending on who you ask, you’ll get different answers. However, science recently added another answer to the list which will shock many. People don’t cheat because they’re dishonest or idiots – they cheat because they love their partner!
Psychologist Alice M. Walker released a book in 2017 in which she examined the lives of women who have been cheated on. Apparently, the cheating was the last nail in the coffin of their lifeless, “orgasm-less” relationship. As Walker reveals, the women tried everything they could to get their husbands to change, but it wasn’t to be. And, while society considers cheaters heartless bastards, they are actually aware of all the pain they’re causing and of the consequences of their actions. However, they sometimes also see it as the only way to save their failing relationship or marriage – it may sound counter-intuitive, but it’s true.
Many people agree with this mind-bending fact. A recent survey where the public was asked of why some people cheat instead of breaking up, nearly 50% of men and women said it was because of love or the need for a better sexual experience. So, forget everything you knew by now – if you’ve been cheated on, your partner doesn’t hate you. They are in fact trying to salvage at least something from the relationship and keep it going while searching for a thrill they can’t find at home. In her book, Walker revealed that women are the same. “They still love their husbands when they cheat and want to have children with them. They don’t want to hurt them, but they do have needs which they can’t fulfill at home,” she said.
A recent article by Cosmopolitan focused on a man who cheats on his wife confirms the survey’s shocking findings. The man (pen name Dylan), started an extramarital affair with a coworker in 2014 as a result of the dying sex at home. He and his partner were a bit sexually incompatible and life started feeling a bit dull. After he had sex with his co-worker, his sex life at home actually improved. It became a truly unique experience and it seems that his affair was just what the relationship with his wife needed. Dylan said that he loves his wife, although just like most married couples, he doesn’t have a healthy sexual relationship which is what led to the affair.
As you can see, cheating can be a wake-up call for some couples. It definitely was in Dylan’s case. Cheating can benefit a relationship in two ways – first, it will allow it to continue and keeps the cheater’s needs satisfied. Second, if they’re caught, it can spark a conversation which can lead to changes that will certainly improve the relationship. Now, from a moral standpoint, it’s not exactly the best thing you might do, but as you can see, sometimes it can be seen in a positive light.