It’s seems that lately all we hear about are extra marital affairs. Something that used to be somewhat taboo and a topic of controversy, now seems to be a regular thing in marriages across the country. I’m sure it was happening before and it will happen in our future as well, but it’s the present that should worry us all.
We’ve spoken about cheating by married women before, but in this article I want to focus on the things that make men cheat, the things that make men fall in love with other women despite the fact that they’re married and maybe have a happy life with their spouses.
Is it just a trend between the rich and famous?
I’m afraid that it’s not, these things happen to regular, normal people like you and me, not just to movie stars, politicians, athletes and authors. Affairs are a common thing between the common folk and are becoming an even more frequent issue lately.
Where does it all start?
It usually starts as an innocent fling, a smile here and there, an accidental touch at work or during drinks with a lady friend and from there it spirals out of control. Men tend to be foolish about their friendships with other women, believe it’s all just fun and games until they cross the line. That’s when they realize that it has always been much more than just a simple friendship.
Women tend to be forgiving for the little things, a hug or a kiss with another woman, it’s something they can tolerate. But when things don’t end there and evolve to the next level, into an intimate relationship and an emotional one, they know that the sanctity of their marriage has been jeopardized and that things will never be the same.
Why do married men cheat and fall in love with other women?
There can be as many reasons as there are different kinds of men, but the top 3 are, as you’ve probably guessed it, sex, search for true love and validation or connection. The biggest surprise is that even men who’re happily married confess to have fallen in love with another women and have cheated on their spouse. Well, we needn’t be surprised anymore because below you’ll find the most common reasons that make men fall in love outside their marriage.
An emotional and psychological need
Men often start cheating because of a need to fulfill some void they feel inside. They often find some other woman they believe is more experienced and caring and gives them support and comforts them in a time of need. It may be that that other woman is completely different from their wife, someone who is more confident, has bigger experience in life or simply gives him the affection he feels he lacks from his wife.
In many marriages the man may feel like his wife doesn’t understand him, as if they’re not emotionally connected and he starts seeking for someone who will understand him better and connect with him on an emotional level. In such cases the man may even not be physical intimate with the woman he’s fallen in love with, but simply feels like she gives him the emotional satisfaction he so desperately craves for.
The husband may also be looking for emotional validation from another woman because their spouse is too busy with work, household chores and similar activities that makes him drift apart from her.
Just for fun
This reason angers me the most but it’s more common than you think. Men in happy marriages just feel bored or crave for affection from another woman. This commonly happens to men who simply can’t control their lust and have a wandering eye. It may start innocently enough but quickly evolves into something much larger.
Their logic in such a case is that being married to someone doesn’t exclude the possibility for them to fall in love with someone else as well.
Meeting a woman that’s open to it
Nothing can happen between two persons is both of them aren’t open to the opportunity in front of them. But if a man catches a clear invitation from another woman there aren’t many who would say no to it. Don’t get me wrong, the man was already open to the prospects of an extra-marital affair, but he wasn’t aware of it until he met someone who’s open to it.
The easiest way to lure a man into a relationship is to be approachable, open and ready for love, this is the most alluring quality in women and men are particularly vulnerable to it.
Women tend to reach their sexual peak much later than men and this often leads to them trying to find a partner who’ll be open to help them enjoy their newly-discovered sexuality. This is alluring for married man as they love being with someone who doesn’t mind exploring new things sexually.
Sex as a reward
It may sound weird, but many men feel like they’ve deserved an additional dose of sex after a big achievement or a successful career event. They believe they’ve deserved it and don’t even feel bad about it.
The reasons why he started the affair are irrelevant once he’s in it he feels like a bigger man, he’s enjoying himself and he like feeling loved by another woman other than his wife. It’s a feeling he’s forgotten, being craved for, being wanted and simply boosts his ego to the point of no return. He just wants to feel he’s still worthy of love and would do anything to feel this way for as long as possible.
There are those type of men who fall for a woman who sponsors them, a woman who buys him nice stuff, spends money on expensive dinners and journeys, something he’s never had before in life. This kind of woman showers him with gifts and affection and makes him feel loved and respected.
She’s everything he’s wife isn’t
There are certain things that a man seeks for in a woman but he’s never found them in his wife. And here comes a beautiful lady that has everything his wife never had and swipes him off his feet. It doesn’t matter that maybe his wife was also beautiful, young and fun to be with at some point in their relationship, all he cares about is how this new woman makes him feel. This new woman attracts him and eventually he feels like he’s in love.
To progress on a social level
This usually happens to men who feel like they can succeed more in live, progress socially and move in the higher circles in society but feel like they were never given the opportunity. He then meets a woman who promises to take him up but it all has a price. He’s married but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and he caves under the pressure. After all, it’s all he’s ever wanted.
This one is similar to the previous situation, but this time it’s a professional advancement that motivates the affair, not a social one. A man falls for a woman who’s more successful than him, maybe even older, maybe even his boss, a career driven woman who would help him move up in his career and fulfill his professional ambitions.
This may be the stupidest reason why men cheat on their wife, to get back at them for cheating in the first place. They know what it’s like to be hurt, how it feels to be played and instead of exiting the marriage or trying to fix it they go ahead and cheat themselves. They believe this will teach their wife a lesson of some sorts, without understanding that it will put an even bigger dent in their marriage.
Once you find out your partner is cheating there’s two options, you either accept it and try to work on improving your marriage and rebuilding it, or you leave, revenge will not make any difference, it may just make matters worse.
Surprisingly, many men have confessed that this is the main cause of their affairs.
She’s the total package
This one is self-explanatory I believe, a man meets a woman that sweeps him off his feet in an instance, he’s bedazzled by her entire persona, her looks, her charms, her character, her brain and everything about her. She possesses a certain mystery that’s captivating for him and he just can’t imagine his life without her.