We’re usually judging people in just few seconds. But the real question is what criteria we use to make the evaluation?
Amy Cuddy is a Harvard Psychologist and with her colleagues Susan Fiske and Peter Glick, have targeted their science research on the first impressions. They have been collecting science evidences for more than 15 years.
The last book of Cuddy is called “Presence” and there she wrote about the two questions that people answer in their minds on first meetings. Those are:
- Is this person worth my respect?
- Is this person worth my trust?
Psychologists came up with two terms regarding these dimensions. Those are competence and warmth. The best ones have both of them.
According to Cuddy, the biggest factor for answering these two questions is the competence in the business world. What they really tend to do eventually is to prove that they are worth enough, smart enough and have the ability to handle things professionally.
But in reality, what truly matters the most is the warmth. It stands out as the most influential factor when it comes to an evaluation of a personality.
Cuddy adds that the evolution has clearly showed that the most crucial element in people is the trustworthiness.
Logically, back in the cavemen days, people were choosing their hunting partners based on the trust they had in them. It was inevitable to know that the other won’t kill them for food and steal their belongings instead of lighting a fire together.
Even though the ability to be influential figure out there is very appreciated in this world, the trust will always come first. Determining yourself too much on what you can do and how strong you can be, can sometimes lead to negative effects with other people.
What people tend to get most is loyalty. They want to feel safe near you and that if needed, they can even depend on you. It’s much better if you appreciate the ones who are trustworthy rather than the ones who will overexpose their superior behavior.
Cuddy also says that the students are very much focused on becoming superior. So much, that they miss some social events and become unapproachable. This is a result of them not asking for help.
These people often face harsh awakening, because they are very likely not to get the desired job. The employers don’t see them as team-players, and that’s something they have to work on, big time!