You are Wrong To Think This Is The Reason For Feeling Attracted To Someone!

You are Wrong To Think This Is The Reason For Feeling Attracted To Someone!

You stand in a room full of people but you see a woman or a man somewhere behind all those people and you cannot stop yourself of going straight to them. You have definitely found your soul mate and every little bone in you burst in flames. You feel alive, your heart beats faster, your energy is far happier than it has ever been. You are the victim of the cupid’s arrows and you don’t want them to stop. You are in a state of the powerful feeling called love, and it’s finally real. You think that nothing can ever stop the feeling from existing. And by far, you are somehow right. However, there are lots of things related to human’s attractions than you think.

The big Freud, the famous research of Jung and many others psychologists, you choose your to ‘fall in love’ with someone based on a criteria made in your subconscious, years and years ago. It is an image of the first people who took care of you when you were little. These people were the ones who’ve raised you, and gave you the total support. You couldn’t do much without them. But while raising you up, they’ve probably made some mistakes. Sometimes the caretakers make distant from the child; they are even cruel in some situations. Some caretakers are very loving, supportive and caring. There are even combinations of these two types of caretakers. The experience you’ve had with them from three to five years old, created a concept of the meaning of the world and the love.

The initial desire to be with another person in a romantic way is just a way for you to heal or fix some of your subconscious inflictions by your caretaker. However, your conscious part of the brain tends to get a bigger euphoria, and all the romantic love’s situations that make you feel the most cheerful person in the world. At the beginning of this amazing stage you only fantasize and enjoy every bit of it.

However, it is the subconscious part of the brain that yells to be opened and to get attention. This process is also known as an “imago match.” The imago is actually the brain’s subconscious part that pretty much acts like your brain of the little child you were.

The subconscious mind is a very complex process and acts childish. It openly says what it wants and that’s it. Its desires can be represented as need for attention, compassion, care etc. It functions as a computer that keeps all your memories in one place. Those are memories from your early ages and they sometimes don’t live in your conscious mind. According to some researches, the memories in the subconscious mind are sometimes taken from lifetimes from the past.

The Chemistry Experiment is Considered to be the Love’s First Stage

No wonders that this stage is called the chemistry experiment. Moreover, the first stage of love brings nothing but norepinephrine, dopamine, and many more neurochemicals that transform our body into a chemical experiment. We feel like we’ve conquered the world and butterflies appear in our stomachs. These reactions and feelings of excitement exist to help us recover everything that hurts in our subconscious mind, by making our conscious mind happy.

After a while, the love experiences new things such as tiredness and moodiness. This is the moment when we enter the second phase of our love. This is where the love becomes a bit rocky and we experience struggle. But we have to know that this stage as well doesn’t last forever. If you find yourself ignored or pushed away from the partner, don’t worry. Another person arrives to give you what you need to heal the wounds from your sub consciousness. That is the real love.

Power Struggle or the Second Stage of Love

The feelings in this stage are as strong as the feelings of the first stage. But instead of butterflies in your stomach and euphoria, you will constantly feel unloved and unwanted. This is the stage where your conscious mind knows that your partner doesn’t give you the right amount of attention that you need. This is how it looks being in the second stage.

  • One of the partners feels unloved so they are ‘vanishing’ from the relationship
  • A feeling of being left alone is present in one of the partner’s conscious
  • One partner cries, the other one yells
  • The things we see in our partners are only negative ones. We even forget about all the positive things
  • The blissfulness is replaced with frustration
  • True connection doesn’t exist anymore
  • The presence of anxiety is constant and likely to happen

The main thing you should know about this stage is that it ends eventually. Many relationships break before the end of this stage. But if you are brave enough you will pass it.

True Love known as the Third Stage

After realizing how to balance the first two stages, comes the third stage known as the True Love. When you find out how to heal your partner’s subconscious wounds and vice versa, you will get to a position of stability and peace. There won’t be any excitement and butterflies, but there also won’t be negative feelings of abandonment.

Both sides now learn how to ‘read’ the other and how to appreciate their opinions, no matter what. After that, you will raise your communication on another level and you will feel the most comfortable talking to one another.

The defense wall you’ve once built subconsciously, will now fall off and you will allow your partner to enter your inner mind.

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