Here’s How To Recognize A Toxic Parent

Here’s How To Recognize A Toxic Parent

Every parent is different – some are strict, while others believe that it’s best to let the child make their own decisions. However, all parenting approaches have one goal in the end – doing the best for the kids.

Unfortunately, some parents are just not fit to be an example for their children. There’s no parent who hasn’t made a mistake and there is no right or wrong way for raising kids. However, some mistakes are bigger than others and can damage the life of the child beyond repair.

Here are 13 signs which can help you identify toxic parents:

They Fail To Create A Supportive And Secure Environment

Kids needs security and a supportive environment more than anything else. If their environment is stressful, they will grow into hard people with commitment problems that will have a hard time finding their soulmate. Even though some parents give tough love to their children on purpose, the truth is we all need some love as it helps us feel secure. Making your children feel secure will help them grow into responsible and independent adults. Of course, tough love is required in some cases, but it’s not a great whole approach of raising children.

Criticizing Their Child’s Moves

Every parent wants what’s best for their children no matter what. However, criticizing all their moves is not healthy. Being negative about your child’s actions all the time will make them lose confidence and motivation to do new things. Children learn by making mistakes and being strict about it can have an adverse effect on their development. In order to raise your child right, parents need to pay more attention to their positive and negative feedback.

They Demand All The Attention

Toxic parents think that their children owe them as they raised them. However, children have their own needs which shouldn’t be neglected. Just give your kids some space and they will definitely reach out later. You can’t force a relationship on your children and that’s a fact.

Hurtful Joking

Making hurtful jokes on the expense of your children is almost the same as verbal and emotional abuse. Picking on your children is bad for their self-confidence. Don’t mock them for the way they look or behave – if you’re concerned about something, talk to them in private.

Blaming It On The Kids

There are many parents who blame their children for their own negative approach. If parents have been mentally or physically abused when they were young, it’s not the children’s fault. They shouldn’t project their insecurities on children as it can damage their fragile psyche. Many people in abusive relationships were abused by their parents as kids, which means you should stop blaming your kids for whatever happened in your life.

Not Allowing Them To Express Thoughts And Emotions

You know how some parents are – they don’t let their kids cry because of the “boys don’t cry” attitude. However, studies have shown that letting your children express their emotions can prevent various physical and mental ailments. Crying will make the child empathic and help him be a more loving person. On the other hand, if a child gathers all his emotions on the inside, ti can lead to anxiety, depression and loneliness, which can be too much to bear when they enter adolescence.

Being Scary

Yes, discipline is important, so being scary to your children sometimes can pay off. However, doing it on a regular basis will make the children think that everything bad that happens is their fault as they’re the only ones punished all the time. This will affect them in their later life and will definitely strain your relationship with them.

Respecting your parents and being afraid of them are two very different things. As we already said, your children should grow in a secure and relaxed environment if you want to raise them properly.

They Only Think About Themselves

Some parents never think about their children’s opinion and thought – they only think about themselves. The decision-making process should be a family thing, not one parent’s wish. No matter if you’re deciding which restaurant to go to or where to go on vacation, involving the children in the decisions will help them grow into healthy adults.

They Want To Realize Their Dreams Through Their Child

Many mothers grow obsessed with fulfilling their own dreams through their child. This is a selfish move – forcing them to do ballet just because you wanted, but never became a ballerina will not work. Your children have their own thoughts and ideas, so let them make their own decisions.

They Control Their Kids With Money

Some parents control their kids with money and expensive gifts just in order to get something in return. This is a negative approach as you can’t buy your child’s love or respect – you have to earn them. Fixing mistakes with money or guilt doesn’t work as well. If you did something wrong, saying “I’m sorry” is the only way to get their love back.

Giving The Silent Treatment

Ignoring your children during an argument is childish and wrong. Communication is the key of every relationship – if you have something you need to resolve with your children, you should definitely talk to them. Going for the silent treatment will teach your children unhealthy ways of communication which can harm their relationships later in life.

Ignoring Their Boundaries

If you want respect from your child, you must treat them with respect. This includes agreeing to the boundaries your children have set. If you’re always late, how can you expect your child not to do the same? Give them some space and privacy, especially when they’re teenagers.

They Make Their Kids Responsible For Their Happiness

For the sake of your children, don’t be the parent who always talks about how much you’ve sacrificed for your children and how you expect them to take care of you now. No one forced you to be a parent and you can’t expect your children to drop everything and support you their whole life.

Acting like this will make you a burden and your children certainly won’t enjoy it. We’re all responsible for our own happiness, so if you aren’t happy, don’t blame it on the kids.

As you can see, there are many ways in which parents can be toxic. These actions can leave a permanent mark on the child’s soul and make them grow into unhealthy adults. Be the best parents you can be, make mistakes and apologize and strive doing the best for your children while teaching them to be humble. Let them make mistakes and help them learn from that experience and you will raise a healthy and independent adult.

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